We see things differently, we don't feel the same anymore.

There's just something I really wanna say, but I really gotta pee. Why is it that I always talk about pee at night?

LOL.

(edit)

So as I was saying before I was interrupted by nature's call, I had a very good conversation with _ last night. We talked from 12-130 in the morning. I became so aware of things. There's a speck in my eye! I was reminded of an episode in House, when this guy broke his finger, and started prodding his body. Then he said his whole body hurt, when the real culprit was the finger. Like I was wearing black sunnies, so I see the world without color. Just shades of gray. About how I feel so bogged, like there's never enough of "me" to commit to school, to God, to friends. _ told me that ** told _ about the 5 loaves and 2 fishes. How God made it multiply to feed everyone. At the end of the day, there were leftovers! Even when Kat mentioned it yesterday morning, I made no connection. And on Friday, I was talking to _too, and I finally told someone that I was glad I didn't get fantastic grades for PSLE, cos the choices I made after that would glorify myself and not God. _ told me that @#$ asked once, who honestly studies for God? What I think came out of it was, that God will use our education to glorify Himself if He wants to, so don't self-indulge in being a mugger. I never thought that studying excessively was a "sin". Ultimately, I just wanted A1s, I just didn't want to be seen as stupid, or not good enough. When will I ever feel that living a Godly life, one worthy of the Gospel, will be good enough for me? I thought about how many years I wasted. Three, people, three. Turning points, eh? On Friday night _ and I also talked about wisdom. About how sometimes, you see something, and you know what to do, but are not sure of whether the time is right to do something. God tells you to simply wait, and how hard waiting is. But loving God is never a feeling. Its a decision. Caring is a decision. That applies for all friends too.

So now, I'm really grateful for _, **, and _'s friends.

Thank God.