So, I have been thinking about what I said last night, on the way home from dance. I thought maybe I should take it back. But you know what? Even though I know its wrong, it needed to get out of my system. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a turning point worthy, suddenly-see-the-light moment. I stand by what I said, 100%.

I seriously think its a time for change. I've been in web since I was 12. I'm 15 now. Goodness, just writing that makes me feel all juvenile. But I really can't stay. Well, not can't. My stoic endurance is slowly but surely wearing out. I really don't want to. I don't want to put up with... Things that just wear me down. I'm getting really sick of gritting my teeth, holding my tongue, rolling my eyes. I'm so sick of doing all of it. The secrets, paranoia. No doubt, web is a good ministry, and I will love it, forever and always. I did grow. But then slowly, I think something went wrong. It grew and festered and I was and am just so confused. After youth sunday, I'm on a hiatus from web. I'll miss everyone, terribly. But you know what? I really miss me.

I don't know if I'm doing the "right" thing. "If you don't try, you'll only wonder why." I'm listening to some stuff now. And all I can think of is how sometimes in web, I would just cry, and cry, and cry. After sermon, during worship, outside the main sanctuary.

Too much effort, definitely.